Wednesday, 23 December 2015


There are times when things turn bitter between two people (or may be a group of people). No body feels better by cutting off with each other with bitter feelings. But at the same time no body understands the various psychological, emotional and/or mental effects these broken relationships leave on us. I have gone through quite a lot of such bitter experiences in life so far and when I have been seriously trying to analyse why such things have been happening wth me I realised various facts which were, well, not very pleasant to face. Nevertheless, I realise I need to face the fact, work on my short-comings, accept the short-comings of others and not blame either me or someone else for everything that happened. Both sides are equally responsible for either things to work well, or not.
Everything happens with a reason and with these bitter experiences have come out some precious and beautiful learnings of my life.
It's not always about drawing across a point when we have a difficult conversation; it's about understanding the challenges inherent in the conversations and the mistakes we make in each. Then we are more likely to see that the purpose of having a conversation shifts. There is this beautiful complexity of the perceptions and intentions involved, the reality of the joint contribution to the problem, the central role feelings have to play, and what the issue means to each person's self-esteem and identity. And we realise that a message delivery stance is not always needed. In fact, we may no more have a message to deliver, but rather there is some information to share and some questions to ask.
Instead of trying to persuade and getting our way, we would want to know what happened from the other person's point of view, explain our point of view, share and understand feelings, and work together to figure out a way to manage the problem going forward. This leads us to a very significant change of how we look at the problem.
There is always a possibility that we invite the other person into the conversation with us, to help us figure things out. We always have lots to learn from them and lots they need to learn from us. A LEARNING CONVERSATION IS ALWAYS PRECIOUS AND BEAUTIFUL

No comments:

Post a Comment